Personal

The Lens of Life

~ Rose Sparrowking

Like most Americans, I took the SAT exam in high school. Twice. This was the mid 1980s and I had done respectably well on the first round, not record-setting but fine, and the second round I did about the same. My scores were decent, and I got into all the colleges I applied for.

I appreciate the irony of being a writer now and avoiding any college application that involved an essay. Sorry, BU. (Boston University)

Also amusing to me, my daughter got her Master’s from BU.

And strange to me, this is the first time I’ve ever typed that I’m a writer. Not a wannabe writer. Aspiring writer. Novice writer. Just a writer.

Back to the SATs.

I don’t know how much they change the exam from year to year, but I’m sure it’s similar between one year and the next. I didn’t specifically study for the exams. Which is weird, thinking about it now since I normally crammed the night before for exams. I didn’t take any SAT classes. Did they have those in the 80s? I don’t remember my teachers discussing strategies for the exam. The exams, my preparation and my scores were the same.

Yet both experiences were vastly different.

It must have been Spring of Junior year, 1984. My friend and I were getting a ride together, and we wanted to go out to breakfast before going to school. We both had part time jobs and wanted to treat ourselves. My father was the designated driver that morning. He didn’t really ever drive any of the kids around or do anything with the kids if he could avoid it and he wasn’t pleased about picking us up. He didn’t want to have stop somewhere and get us. If he had to be up and driving, he just want us to all get in the car together and go. We were only going to Burger King. It was an easy walk from my house and he’d be driving that way to take us to school. He wasn’t going out of his way, but he was still irritated.

My friend lived a short walk away, so we met up and walked down Main Street, ten or fifteen minutes, looking forward to a special breakfast. Most breakfasts at home were cereal and milk and it was a treat to go out to eat at anytime, even fast food. We arrived only to find Burger King was closed at 6:00a.m. on a Saturday morning. Disappointed, we knew there was no time to walk back to the house to get food. And suddenly there was my father, honking for us to get in the wagon and he was not about to go to a drive-thru somewhere else to get us a bite to eat.

So I took those SATs miserable. My father was irritated with me. I was up earlier than I needed to be, with no reward for my sacrifice, which any teen will tell you that getting up early on a Saturday morning is a huge sacrifice. I was hungry and thirsty and out of luck.

Definitely a learning experience.

Senior year, I took the SAT’s again. I don’t know why because I had acceptances and had committed to a school. But I was told to take them again, probably by the guidance counselor, and being a good rule follower, I did.

This SAT experience was so very different. First, I had a school lined up, so the pressure was off to begin with. (Why, oh why, did I have to sit that second exam?) I didn’t get up any earlier than necessary. I ate breakfast at home. I didn’t meet up with my friend. (We weren’t friends anymore.) My mother drove me to school and I’m sure we chatted the entire ride. She was probably thrilled about getting out of the house without the baby and looking forward to some time alone on the drive back home. (My third brother was a little over a year old at that point and my first sister would arrive in a few months.)

I remember it being a sunny day and I choose a place in the cafeteria near the windows and far away from the main doors. I had a table to myself, because no one walked to the other end of the cafeteria.

I plopped my hobo bag on the seat next to me, got out my number 2 pencils and then the best part, I brought out a big bag of M&M’s and covered it with my purse. And this little thing, this minor act of defiance, made me happy for the entire exam.

Did I really get away with munching on M&M’s during SAT’s? I don’t know. No one said anything to me. I’m sure the teachers monitoring the exam didn’t bother with me. I never caused trouble. Never. I’m sure they ignored me the entire time. But I thought I got away with something.

I nibbled my booty of forbidden candy, enjoyed the sun on my back and completely colored in my little circles with number 2 pencil. And I was happy.

One year, miserable SAT. Next year, happy SAT.

I’m not sure why this memory popped into my consciousness today. I’ve been reading Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow and changes in perception is a theme in the story. My SATs is one of the most obvious examples in my life of how my thinking changed my perception of an event.

So I guess there’s a lesson or moral in this story. If you’re going to do it, you may as well enjoy it? Take a minor risk, it’s fun? Is the way you think about something more important that the thing itself? The way you think about your life is how you experience it?

Perhaps it’s something that we need to figure out for ourselves. How we want to perceive our life. That the lens is just as important as the events. That life is going to happen, so you may as well make the best of it.

I hope you all are making the best of your life.

Happy November 1st

~ Rose Sparrowking

Happy First Day of NaNoWriMo! Woo hoo!

First, if you’re going to do timed sprints, you should actually start the timer. Hahaha! I was writing and writing and waiting for the timer to go off so I could get up and stretch and use the bathroom but it never happened. I finally tabbed over to see how much time was left, and, yup, never started it.

I got a good start on my word count!

I’m using this word count tracker: NaNoWriMo Wordcount Worksheet (https://justinmclachlan.gumroad.com/l/nanowrimotracker)

Since my husband works from home (and is teaching a seminar today), I’ve got my noise-cancelling headphones on with the Piano Guys playing. I find lyrics distracting when I’m writing. Also, I just like the Piano Guys!

I’ve got two goals for November:

  1. Write daily
  2. Walk daily

I’ve got a lot going on this month, NaNo, Thanksgiving, a charity event, cleaning to prep for Thanksgiving but I’m most concerned about my health. I was sick in September and then had COVID in October. I haven’t exercised at all in two months, except for walking in Florence on our recent trip. So I’m getting myself back in the habit of moving, starting slowly with a daily walk. By the new year, I’ll be ready to ramp it up, provided I stay healthy. Fingers-crossed.

Daily walk:  20 minutes at a local park

Writing: Word count today: 1717

It Only Takes One

~ Rose Sparrowking

Someone posted this image to Facebook today:

Ugh! How do you let something go? This one asshole is ruining my day… because I’m letting them.

It’s the first time I’ve had to block someone on the NaNo forums. I imagine that it’s some 13 year boy pranking people online. It was that infantile and obvious. I get a chat message and I’m suspicious because I don’t know this person and there’s nothing in their profile. I ask what they’re doing for NaNo and they reply they didn’t know and were really there to connect to people. A red flag, but nothing in the conversation is crossing a line. They keep complaining about being tired and I keep sidestepping the issue until finally I ask, because I know that’s what they want. And, yes, their genitals are the reason they are so tired.

Double ugh! Boys! Whatever the age! This is why I’m writing about a female only society for NaNo and the disruption of men when they arrive.

And FFS, I know it’s not all men!

So, the situation has been on my mind all day and I wish I could go into my head and erase the entire thing.

I need to learn some techniques in how to let things go!

Handwriting and Creativity

~ Rose Sparrowking

I have this belief that writing by hand increases creativity, so I chose that idea for my first blog post. And, what do you know, I can’t find any support for that hypothesis in my admittedly brief internet search.

By first blog, I mean first blog post after a long hiatus and most of my former posts were just lists or me complaining.

Back to the subject.

There is science showing that writing by hand improves comprehension of a subject compared to typing notes.

“We conclude that because of the benefits of sensory-motor integration due to the larger involvement of the senses as well as fine and precisely controlled hand movements when writing by hand and when drawing, it is vital to maintain both activities in a learning environment to facilitate and optimize learning.”

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01810/full

“We show that whereas taking more notes can be beneficial, laptop note takers’ tendency to transcribe lectures verbatim rather than processing information and reframing it in their own words is detrimental to learning”

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614524581

So, more senses, better learning. Also, better processing, better learning. Does this aid in creativity? What is creativity?

The American Psychological Association defines creativity as:

Creativity is the ability to produce or develop original work, theories, techniques, or thoughts. A creative individual typically displays originality, imagination, and expressiveness.

Creative thinking refers to the mental processes leading to a new invention or solution to a problem. Products of creative thinking include new machines, social ideas, scientific theories, artistic works, and more.

https://www.apa.org/topics/creativity

Except there’s truly nothing new under the sun. So, how do you get original ideas?

By making unique connections between ideas, knowledge, thoughts.

“Creativity is just connecting things.” ~ Steve Jobs

No one has the same thoughts, memories, knowledge, experiences. So we can be original by making connections that no one else could.

They say that there are only so many basic plots to a story and yet, the number of stories is infinite.

Every story in the world has one of these six basic plots, https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20180525-every-story-in-the-world-has-one-of-these-six-basic-plots

The Seven Basic Plots, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Basic_Plots

Nine Basic Plots, https://www.how-to-write-a-book-now.com/basic-plots.html

So, handwriting.

Taking notes by hand will definitely aid you in learning about a subject. And knowing something, and not forgetting it once you close your laptop, will aid in making connections.

Handwriting is slower than typing, which may give your brain the lag time to make connections. I’m only guessing at this, however.

Because handwriting involves so much more of your senses and body than handwriting, it may help focus and that may spur creativity.

I will offer that during NaNoWriMo of 2022, I did a lot of word sprints on my laptop in order to generate enough words to meet my goal. I found that this often gave me ideas, like my mind was in overdrive.

Therefore, find what works creatively for you. Mix it up. Take notes by hand. Type your great American novel in sprints. See what gets things connecting and keep creating.

Edit on 2/7/24. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202402/writing-by-hand-is-good-for-your-brain

Links List

~ Rose Sparrowking

art-lasovsky-559569-unsplash-modified
Photo by Art Lasovsky on Unsplash

Writing links

How to Create Conflict by Discovering Your Character’s Objects of Desire. “But when you keep your characters loyal to their external wants and bound to their internal needs, making innovative choice after innovative choice to somehow achieve both objects of desire despite the odds and consequences, readers will love you for it.”

Do You Have a Story Concept, or Just a Cool Idea? Three elements for a story concept: “At least one character that is actively pursuing a goal,” “Urgent motivation for said goal,” and “Obvious and escalating conflict for the goal.”

Change How You Think links

3 Ways to Make Stress Your Friend. “Choose a different perspective.” “Shift how you interpret your body’s signals.” “Train with the Body Scan meditation.” This and the next link relate back to my post about shifting the way you think so you can change the way you live.

Change Your Language, Change Your Life. “Replace I have to with I get to.” “Instead of I’m going through something difficult, how about I’m growing through something difficult?” “Rather than should, must, or ought to, use prefer to, want to, or choose to.” “Try the shift from I can’t do this or I’m not good at this to This is challenging, and I’ll get it, or I’m still learning, and I’ll keep at it.”   

Writing, Reading and Gratitude

~ Rose Sparrowking

img_20190125_084511b
sun over clouds by rose.sparrowking

Grateful for today:

The magnificent blue sky.

Recent Writing Bookmarks:

My Ongoing Feud with Billy Joel. Great advice for writing dialogue. Make dialogue a confrontation not a conversation. Give each character a distinct voice. Look for other ways to make how your character talks memorable. Don’t be a name dropper. Don’t go nuts with dialogue tags. Don’t go overboard with dialect.

The Villain Adapts, but Does Not Change. Keep the villains coming at the hero from everywhere. The villain adapts but does not change. The hero is the one who changes. If the villain changed, he’d be the hero.

The Key Components of a Compelling Character (According to Psychology). Make them want. Make them unique. Make them more.

The Inner Struggle: How to Show a Character’s Repressed Emotions. Over and under-reactions. Tics and tells. Flight, fight or freeze. Passive-aggressive reactions. Incongruencies.

Recent Reads

Romancing the Beat: Story Structure for Romance Novels (How to Write Kissing Books) (Volume 1). This really made me re-think and re-structure my novel. Which was supposed to be a thriller romance but wasn’t working on the romance front.

Fear of Why

~ Rose Sparrowking

luka-vovk-1309002-unsplashPhoto by Luka Vovk on Unsplash

I don’t know if I’m ready to think about my why’s.

What the hell does that mean?

So, I’ve only recently started listening to podcasts. Yeah, yeah. I’m always running behind. I’ve enjoyed Fit Bottomed Girls blog for some time and now listen to their podcast. They recently interviewed Patricia Moreno (here and here) and it really got me to thinking about two things.

  1. Your thoughts drive your life.
  2. You need to dig deep and figure out your why.

These are the notes that I jotted down after listening to the first podcast, twice:

  • Your self-talk is your destiny
  • The things you say to yourself constantly becomes your destiny
  • How you feel as result of what focusing on, what saying to yourself and how you’re moving your body.

I’ve been pushing myself to lose weight and to work on my novel. At one point I though about writing ‘fat’ on the back of one hand and ‘lazy’ on the back of the other to remind myself what not to be. OMG!!! What kind of messages am I giving to myself!? Why the hell would I tell myself that I’m fat and lazy!? Why would I think that about myself and why would I want to reinforce those beliefs about myself?

But I don’t know if I’m ready to do the deep digging and find out why I’m so mean to myself. If someone called me fat and lazy, would I just accept that as truth? No, I’d be pissed off and hurt. So why do I allow myself to talk to me that way? I just don’t know if I’m ready for the emotional toll it will take to do this digging into why.

I catch myself operating on an emotional anesthesia track. If it gets too tough, too hard, too real, then I back off (do laundry), do something that requires little thought or mental work, tell myself there’s nothing I can do about it (whatever it is) in the moment and push it on the back burner.

My back burner must be close to an avalanche.

I’m going to have to dig. But I’m afraid of what I’ll find.

Since I’m not tackling that right now, I can tackle a bit of my self-talk. No putting ‘fat’ or ‘lazy’ on my hands but what would I write on my hands to give me the better message? Grateful. Love. Healthy. Strong. Worthy. Peace.

Since I’m not writing on my hands and am not ready for a tattoo, I’m thinking it might be bracelet making time.

Another thing Patricia spoke about was writing down something you’re grateful for each day and that it sounds ridiculous, but the consistency of it will slowly change your self-talk.

Today I’m grateful for Patricia Moreno and Fit Bottomed Girls for giving me such powerful things to think about.

Links List

~ Rose Sparrowking

Sperm Count Zero:

It’s “just a waiting game until one or another of the stupid things our stupid species is up to finally gets us. But as it turns out, no surprise: men first. Second instance of no surprise: We’re going to take the women down with us.”

“the human race is apparently on a trend line toward becoming unable to reproduce itself. Sperm counts went from 99 million sperm per milliliter of semen in 1973 to 47 million per milliliter in 2011, and the decline has been accelerating.”

Terrifying on how we’re destroying ourselves. This article gave me ideas for a novel.

Preventing Muscle Loss as We Age:

“no matter how old or out of shape you are, you can restore much of the strength you already lost. ”

“start a strength-training program using free weights, resistance bands or machines”

I’ll be phasing in a strength training program soon as I am now beginning an aerobic program while changing my eating habits. Don’t do everything at once!

Men Vs Women Fears

~ Rose Sparrowking

“Why do men feel threatened by women?” I asked a male friend of mine. So this male friend of mine, who does by the way exist, conveniently entered into the following dialogue. “I mean,” I said, “men are bigger, most of the time, they can run faster, strangle better, and they have on the average a lot more money and power.” “They’re afraid women will laugh at them,” he said. “Undercut their world view.” Then I asked some women students in a quickie poetry seminar I was giving, “Why do women feel threatened by men?” “They’re afraid of being killed,” they said.

~Atwood, Margaret, Writing the Male Character (1982)